Did ever happen to you?

Did ever happen to you? To want to cry in a very not appropriate time?

Yes. There are times that our inner system is a little bit confusing. A little bit complicated. It makes us feel and express emotions in inappropriate times that we don’t want to show. Even though we keep trying to control it it’s like an energy that comes from the inside and informs us that want to show up in a specific time even though we’re trying to force it not to happen. It’s like some emotions and thoughts that we might were keep trying to hide and hold back in our mind in the past or we were trying not to show any emotions about something that either bothered us or made us upset and to feel disappointed and like it was unfair for us, but even though we didn’t speak up about it.

I think our mind/inner system is trying to bring out all these thoughts, feelings and the pressure we were feeling and we were keep saving in the back of it because we didn’t speak up or express ourselves about them. And all this “bad” energy that we were keep hiding makes its appearance with tears. Tears are the main sign for all of them. They just need a very small cause to show up. That cause might be an unimportant argument, a little bit of anxiety or even a very small situation we felt uncomfortable. In cases and places that have nothing to do with the very deep and true reason of those tears. They don’t need much to appear. That’s how they are. That’s how they do. Like a cracked glass ready to fall in a million pieces.

And that’s when we start forcing ourselves to stop feel like that and to hold the tears into our eyes. And because of that forced energy we are putting to ourselves against our system’s intentions/needs, there is no moment we feel comfortable or even good where we might be at that moment with other people. And then because of that, you are feeling that you’re not having fun and you know that is because of you. And when you arrive at home you blame yourself for being and feeling like that all the time when you were out with a company and you were supposed to have fun and enjoy your day/night.

Many times you ask yourself why you are feeling like that and why you are being like that… And of course you got no answer. The answer is all inside you. In the back of your mind. Back to those situations and behaviors that made you feel like that. In the past. It might be not a long past neither a close past. It depends though. You have to search it by yourself and find the main cause/causes. Think about it. Think about why you didn’t speak up about it. Why you didn’t express yourself. Think about what you were being afraid of. What scared you and hold you back from doing it. Reconsider that spontaneous action you did or didn’t do. And talk to yourself like is you in front of you. At first, do your best to think clearly. Then ask yourself. And then try to answer with honesty. Be honest to yourself. Don’t be afraid. Think about what you have to lose from opening up about it and about what you don’t have to lose. Even if it’s about something from a long time ago or not a long time ago it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is to let it go from your mind and in general from you.

After all, when you feel okay to cry then let those tears fall. You will feel much better. And then decide to who and when you are willing to open up and discuss about it. But most of all I suggest you to talk with calm voice and patience and say what you feel and think about anything at that time, at that moment, at that “now” you start feeling/thinking like the way you do and to the people that are present.

If you’re related to this with any way, comment if you felt like this or how you felt and what you did about it.

I would really like to read your stories, too.

Thank you!