Take it as a love letter

The source to this “letter” is someone who literally affects the way I’m feeling and my behavior. Everything he says, everything he posts, everything he thinks literally changes the way I’m feeling during the day, the way I react to things, the way my mood is each time. His actions affect me a lot. It’s been a few weeks to realize that. But then I understood that is because I like him. A lot. I don’t know if this is love, but from the first sight that person attracted me in some way I didn’t understand. It might be a “first eye contact falling in love” thing, but it might be not too.

It was somehow like when you see someone and you just think that “oh, he’s really handsome” but you’ve never imagined being together. And then day by day, when you are more often at the same place with him a flame starts to burn… And then just like a lightning (so soon you don’t even realize that) the flame becomes a fire. And of course that fire burns your sleep and then sleep is like doesn’t even exist in your life. You don’t sleep until the sun is rising because you think of everything he did and everything he said. And you are dying for another round of what he wants to say. You just want to be so close to him that sleep is just needless because you feel like it just only keeps you away from him. Your thoughts are with him it’s the only way to be close to him. So if you sleep you won’t think of him so you won’t be close to him so you don’t want that. You don’t need that. Reality is so much better than sleep. Lost in sleep is like hell because your energy is intense and the only thing you want is to spend time with him or be wherever closer he is. Going to the places he hangs out, he used to go. You make the night like morning and the morning like night. And this whole situation with sleep can be only explained with one word: love or three words: fall in love. Even though you don’t fall but you fly.

Finally, it’s funny how one word, one action, even one post from just one specific person can change your entire mood in seconds. Okay maybe in one second. It happened to me. It happens to me. And it’s like nobody ever made me feel like that because I can’t remember feeling like that before about anyone. Even if we were together or not. It’s so rare but so special and unique. I love it. Even if sometimes affects me in the way of feeling down and it makes me feel like my heart is going to explode and to don’t know if I hate or love that feeling I just can’t do otherwise. But eventually you affect him in the same exact way, too. And that just keeps you a little bit calm and warm in the “cold times”. You might not smile but you know your heart is secretly smiling.

I love you. Don’t ever let me down. You know what you mean to me and how much you deserve for me as much as I do to you. You are in my mind, my heart and soul. You know how hard it is for me to push you away. Not just for me and you, but for the others too…